By Kimm Crandall
As I get to the end of this year and read the world’s lists of resolutions I can’t help but feel like a bit of a loser. I just don’t seem to care.
I have no interest in trying harder in 2015. I have no desire to write out a list of what I want to do better this year.
Sure I think it would be great if this was the year that I got in shape or made it past Numbers in my Bible reading plan. But I highly doubt that writing these things down on a list again will get me any further than it has in the previous years.
So what do you think? Am I a loser because I lack motivation to better myself? Is my negativity bringing you down?
I use the words loser and negative because that’s what the world would call me but in reality I have much more hope for myself than that. Some may be thinking that with an attitude like mine I will never change or better myself. I’ll never grow past where I am in life.
But honestly in all of my list making experience I’ve never seen much change by trying harder to do better. Oh sure it lasts for a while like everyone else. I hit the gym the first few weeks in January only to end up back on the couch. I say no to the sugar and caffeine only to end up in the Starbucks drive-thru with a vente frappa whatever after I’ve been up all night with a sick kid. I sleep through the 5:00am alarm to get up and pray because my insomnia gets the best of me. Whether it’s feeling as if I’ve failed or feeling proud and self-righteous because I’ve succeeded, my heart remains unchanged.
But like I said, I have hope. I know that I will change this year. I know that I am growing and being sanctified daily because that is what He has promised me. Even in the years that I had completely given up on life He was kind to change me.
I can rest knowing that I don’t have to earn my way into God’s favor in 2015 because I cannot gain or lose ground with God. Failures, successes, whatever comes my way I will remain in His love and His face will never turn away from me. I am His beloved daughter.
There is a list that’s already been written. It has spelled out every good and perfect thing that I must do to be acceptable. It’s like the New Year’s Resolution List Extraordinaire. I look at it and I’m crushed. Love your neighbor, do not be jealous, love God with all your heart, it goes on and on. I can’t even begin to do these things well. I failed before I even started.
There is One and only One who has kept the list of perfection. Jesus never had to make a single New Year’s resolution. He never had to try harder to be a better person; to sin less and love more. But at the cross He chose to take my identity as one who can never get it right no matter how many years I put it on a list and in exchange He gave me His identity of the perfect list keeper.
I don’t have to make a do better list. I don’t have to look inward and find the courage to love myself more. I don’t have to put post-it notes around the house reminding myself of the promises I have made to be a better person. I have Christ who has set me free from the need of constant self-improvement. It is Christ who will work in me to complete a good work this year.
And if I don’t get any better this year He will love me the same as He did yesterday, today and forever.
My list has been completed. He Has torn it up, thrown it in the fire and dared me to be free.
Now where’s that protein shake?!