By Shasta Monet
So this will probably sound strange to some. But when I became pregnant last year..I have had something special that happens now. Its more of a sensation I feel like. But its this feeling that I have a ring on my ring finger. Like I said…sounds strange I know. But its true. My finger..the one where a wedding ring would be placed..becomes heavy. Right where a ring would be. All the way around. It feels so weird that I have to feel it to make sure there isn’t a ring there..
This started like I said when I found out I was pregnant in January. In fact I believe the first time I felt it was at the airport in Reno..getting ready to fly home to my family to start my new adventure. I remember that day so clearly. My heart hurt. I felt so so broken and scared. I couldn’t tell you all the emotions I felt. But then I felt that sensation and the first thing that came to mind was that I wasn’t alone.
One thing I knew from the beginning of all this was that God was with me. So I smiled cause I felt like God was telling me that not only was I not alone..I was His.
Then throughout my pregnancy I felt that exact sensation. Usually when I felt scared and worried. Then it bring peace to my heart. Even this morning I felt it. As I am writing this..I feel it.
This morning I came to God once again feeling broken and worried. Maybe not so much broken..but more just scared. So many things on my heart and mind. I feel overwhelmed and not sure how to move forward. Then I felt that again. Once again it spoke to me that I am not alone. He has me. Intimately He has me. Just as a husband has His wife. He is fighting for me. He is providing for me. He is leading me. All He requires from me is to lean into Him and trust Him.
I one day would like to write a book on this secret ring. Cause writing this blog post, I am seeing so many things with this ring. The biggest being that as a single mom now..I need help. This is my help. The world (and sadly even the church) points their fingers at me and either curses me or gives me pity for my choice. But what does God do? He weds me. So therefore I actually am not alone. My daughter has two parents raising her.
From the very beginning. He has been with me at every doctors appointment and morning sickness. He has provided me with insurance and food. He helped give me strength during labor and my healing after. Now He is walking with me as I am learning the ropes to this mom thing. Just like a man at my side would do.
What’s so beautiful about this set up is that one day God will bring a man into our lives. This man will fall in love not just with me but my beautiful daughter. Then cause God loves me so much..He will step aside and allow this man to take His spot in this dance. This man will look at my CharlieMae and not see someone else’s daughter..he will see his own daughter. It is like God is saving him a spot in her life.
Wow..now that my friends, is the true story of grace. So beautiful and real..love at its purest form. This ring holds special powers, simply it’s strength. I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength.